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during the run-up to the annual Adult Video News Awards in Vegas, two provocatively clad women told me about a guy who gave them ,000. The women, Maitresse Madeline and Mistress Lorelei Lee, made names for themselves as actresses in adult films, but they also indulge in the sexual art of “financial domination,” or “fin dom,” a craft that sounds like a cross between S&M and a big-store con (albeit, with extremely compliant marks, dubbed “pay pigs”).

He was Australian, they said, and the money was supposed to be for a session of live online camming. It fills their bank accounts while satisfying the carnal needs of guys who get off on giving money to demanding women.

In the middle of my swipe-fest, Tinder intervenes with the electronic equivalent of a chastity belt. It appears I am too promiscuous for the most notorious hook-up app in the land. Even the ones with aggressive amounts of question marks.

Even the ones who don’t know when to use capital letters or the difference between there, their and they’re.

She’s sharp, and went out of her way to engage as she told me her story.

Maybe you simply need to have the STD and birth control talk so you’re both on the same page. Guys can feel insecure too, and by starting off with what you enjoyed, it helps set a positive tone.

Do you want to take all sexual activity off the table? Do you need to feel more emotionally connected with him first?

Whatever it is, you’re feeling off about what happened. Here are some guidelines on how to navigate yourself and put the budding relationship back on track. I’m curious to understand what you heard me say.” There are subtle differences in the way men and women talk and listen.

Hopefully you even enjoyed yourself during the experience. You simply had sex with a guy you like sooner than you’d prefer, and from that, you realized what you prefer. Whatever it is, before you have a conversation, you need to know your thoughts, feelings and decisions on what’s most in alignment with you. Ideally, have the conversation in person, but set a context first so you’re not dropping the news right before the trailers at the movie theater. It also helps him understand that you’re not blaming him. Own your role in the experience and hopefully he does, too.

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